moveyourdeadfros | (no subject)

We start off with holy crap IT’S TONJIT AND HIS LONGLEGGED HORSIE. I do so love that horsie, mostly because I love anything with far too long legs for it’s own good. Also, he’s got grandchildren now, and while at first I was like “Dude it’s just been two years those look way older” I then remembered his tribe takes for effing EVER to meet up since they must wait for the lowtide and those sproglets were most likely born while he was waiting for the tide to recede.

Robin tells us there are three legendary weapons capable of destroying the world, all named after the “Gods”, in quotation marks, Pluton, Uranus and Poseidon. God of the underworld, primal God of the sky (Zeus grandpappy) and the god of the sea. Mix and match of Greek and Roman names here for some reason that I am not naïve enough to believe is anything but shoddy research, but the important part is that Shirahoshi must be protected from all who want to abuse her powers.

AND SPEAKING OF ABUSE :D

Take a bow Bowser, for you were in fact absolutely right- Caribou was still around, eavesdropping as you do after robbing the castle blind and… staying at the scene of the crime for some reason. Anyhow he is now poised to really mess things up for the crew who Jinbe takes outside for a chat, thinking it’s high time they are all brought up to speed about the happenings of the world and Luffy goes to rouse his eager and ever vigilant crew!

I love the Strawhats, guys. I love them so much. Anyhow- called it! Called that this would happen! Despite Sengoku recommending Aokiji to replace him, the top brass of the government preferred Akainu instead because hey, he IS responsible for the first major on-screen death in One Piece. But not even Aokiji could be chill with the prospect of mister “If I don’t lavapunch a puppy every day THE PIRATES HAVE ALREADY WON” running the marines, so the gauntlet was thrown. And after a ten-day straight epic battle of ultimate destiny, a winner-takes-all brawl to the death…

Akainu won.

But apparently Akainu had too much sympathy for Aokiji to finish him off (or he was just so goshdarn tired of Aokiji freezing his lavapunches that the buzz was gone, man), so instead Aokiji (or Kuzan now I suppose) buggered off to parts unknown as the marine tried to fill the current void in their power base by increasing the marines jurisdiction and power. I think you all know where this is going. There are now three men, on the run from a world they no longer fit in with. Wanted by the World Government, they have embarked on a personal quest to hunt the elements of society their former commanders turned a blind eye to. If you have a problem, if there is no one else to help you and if you can find them and convince you with the shining purity of your kokoro, maybe you can hire… THE EX-TEAM.

Garp is Murdock, Sengoku is Hannibal, Kuzan is Face and Smoker is there because he was BORN to play B.A. Do not deny the awesomeness of a bling-encrusted Smoker.

ANYHOW- the second bit of news surrounds another old friend- a friend that, as Chopper reminds us, once destroyed his kingdom, stabbed Whitebeard in the… well, front actually, and then moved to take over his old haunt. The new Emperor in town…

That Son of a Bitch-Beard. Who is apparently capable of absorbing MULTIPLE powers, and maybe even sharing them with his fellow crew-members, meaning they are currently literally headhunting Devil Fruit users to build up their power base. Chopper briefly panics before Usopp reminds him that to a human his power is kinda worthless which is certainly foreshadowing of an arc where Blackbeard is going to kidnap Chopper and everyone has to rescue him, but enough of such lighthearted asides- how must this news not affect Luffy, and make his old wounds achehe's not worried at all.

I do so love Jinbes reaction. He’s just NOW realizing that this is what his life is going to be like in the foreseeable future. This is his new captain. Things DO take a turn for the serious however as Luffy senses a disturbance in the force, or rather just someone very forceful and disturbing- it’s Caribou, sliming down Shirahoshi so he can kidnap her and sell her off to the highest bidder! :D

But instead of showing you something that gross, I’ma show you glorious come-uppance.

… Which is about the dumbest thing he CAN do considering Caribou’s abilities but hey we need to pad this out somehow.

Although I admit this exchange made me lol. Nami then enters and, upon finding out that HOLY SHIT SOMEONE STOLE TREASURES ~~BEFORE SHE COULD~~ she promptly boots the monster trio out of the castle as the king promises her she can have it all if she gets it back. But we can’t even get past THAT without another dramatic swerve, as Hody have slipped out of his cuffs and…!

…

… Apparently didn’t study their fairy-tale folk lore well enough. And I guess that’s that- every answer about how he got those pills and his future fate, neatly and somewhat awkwardly wrapped up in the “are we supposed to laugh at the insane mass-murdering terrorists getting this very silly come-uppance” kind of way. Though the keen of eye might notice that Vander Decken is nowhere to be seen which you’d THINK somebody would notice but hey, if there’s one thing this arc needs it’s MOAR PADDING when he inevitably goes after Shirahoshi again.

But with that over we jump directly into a new problem. Because Big Mom’s toadies just came by to cash in on her protection candy, and the Straw Hats ate it all during the party. Trouble on the horizon…