moveyourdeadfros | (no subject)

We open up the chapter with a tender look into the spare time of Akainu, in which we see him care for a small bonsai tree. See how carefully he treats it’s tender branches. See how methodical he is about cutting only the most precise of cuts. See how he lovingly makes this plant grow in just the way he wants it. And why does he do all this? Because there are times, sad, lonely times, when he isn’t allowed to burn things. He uses this downtime to cultivate bonsai trees, so that he can burn them when they’re done. Hours, days, MONTHS sometimes goes into careful, considerate grooming of a tree until it is just perfect… all so that he can feel all the more pleasure when he burns it. For when you spend so much time on raising something, even if it’s inanimate, it’s like you grow so close to it you can hear it talk… and scream.

Kizaru is there because he thinks creeping on Akainu while he’s doing this hobby is hi-fucking-larious. Aokiji stays the hell away from this cover-image because his fellow vice-admirals creep him RIGHT the hell OUT. Also an elephant. I don’t even know what’s up with the elephant. It’s probably something unsettling and immoral anyway.

On Gloom Island in Muggy Kingdom, a familiar someone is bawling her eyes out. Yes indeedy, it’s Perona again folks! And she’s apparently made the acquaintance of the castles owner, a man who’s doing his best to settle down with a bottle of wine (OR IS IT) despite Peronas…

… charming guest-manners! Who could this mysterious man be? Why it’s none other than-!

FABRIC IS AGAINST THE RELIGION OF MY ABS

Dracule Mihawk, back from work and kicking it in his crib and relaying news to young girls that their bosses fell in combat… though Mihawk expresses incredulence at the article bringing said news, since he saw Moria looking fine and dandy when he left the battle. Me, I don’t know what Perona’s so upset about, she’s the only girl on an island with two fine-looking gentlemen whose abs apparently consider fabric heresy against their religion- hey that’s right, ~master Zoro~! Where could that lovable old scamp be? Oh there he is, monkeying around with his new friends- a group of armed and angry apes called ”humandrills”. But Zoro has had enough of their damn dirtyness and cuts one down!

You tell them Zoro- everyone knows BAND-AIDS are where it’s at. Mihawk then appears to chastise Zoro for not being as awesome as him, whereupon Zoro gets all huffy because the monkeys are embarrassing him in front of his idol.

Little boy ripping off my style are you?

Apparently Zoro tried to prove how cool he was by ripping off Mihawks ”cruising around the world in a tiny boat”-thing. Am I the only one who now has the mental image of a lost Zoro paddling around the ocean in that broken boat, only to end up running into Rayleigh swimming back to Shabondy? Mihawk drops some exposition on how the humandrills take after the humans they see, so if they live with peaceful humans they become hippies full of love and understanding, but since this particular place…

… Apparently Mihawk sees fields of rotting bodies as prime real estate for a cozy get-away. Disturbing. After more of Mihawk telling Zoro he’s not a quarter as awesome as he is and that he should really just go back to the castle Zoro tells Mihawk to stuff and that he’s going to where Luffy is! Partially because of the whole eternal bro-thing, partially I guess because he’s seen through Kumas clever ploy- sending Perona and him to Mihawks estate in a cheap attempt to fire up the fangirls hormones and start a new wave of crackshipping and OT3’s, and all the fans are SO gonna make this into a bad Twilight ripoff with Perona as Bella, Zoro as Jacob and Mihawk as Edward and Zoro’s having NONE of that.

… Oh God why does that work?

We then cut to Weatheria, the floating island that Nami got herself stuck on… make that double-stuck, since she’s apparently imprisoned there now! How the hell a bunch of Dumbledores managed to get the drop on Nami we will never know- but apparently she tried to steal their weather balls and their notes on weather technology and use it to escape! An accusation that… pretty much just prompts her to go ”No duh I steal stuff, pirate? Remember?” Oh Nami. Never change. But such reckless behaviour could have gotten her killed according to Heredas, the old wizard who took her in, so why risk her life on something so dangerous?

I do not know it yet but I do know I love Namis shirt here. Oh Oda. So witty. Nami breaks down in tears as she tells the Merlin-menagerie that her poor, poor captain must be heartbroken after his loss, and that she simply MUST be there for him in his time of need as she cries sad and incredibly honest tears, prompting the old men to OF COURSE set her free as anything else would be completely inhuman!

As is the speed at which Nami promptly kidnaps Heredas, a weather ball for Heredas to drive and the notes again, and hauls ass of the island to get back to her captain, wiping away those crocodile tears…

… Oh Nami.

We then cut to Baldimore, the frozen future kingdom where Franky is on the run from guntoting marines… yet neither of them are firing, because they are right in the middle of Doctor Vegapunks old lab! Franky is there because of the tales he heard from the locals on how the lab is not only filled with countless priceless blueprints of devices that could never be made with the limited technology of the present, but also an ice-breaker ship he’ll need in order to get off the island and get back to Shabondy! And what happens next is… well. I don’t think I can do it justice in words, so instead- pictures.

Oh… Oh Franky. Oooh dear, Franky. That was… special. And most likely going to make his bounty skyrocket. Oh dear. Anyone else who’s going to hear Steve Urkel whenever they see Franky from now on, or is it just me?

We then move from… THAT to a display of actual competence! Yes ladies and gentlemen, what you ALL have no doubt been waiting for- yours truly, the everlovable ’Dead Bones’ Brook- in the manga, back in the spotlight and having JUST wrapped up and defeated the villanous long-arms on Starvation Island! And what do you know- he didn’t do it by kicking ass, but by playing some new song that can apparently invigorate people into standing up and fighting for themselves! If I didn’t think Iva and Brook had to meet before, I sure do so now!

Aww yiss. Look at that adoring crowd. Not that Brook has time for such selfish things, oh no! Having already read about Luffys misadventures, Brook knows he must return to his captains side and help him out in whatever way he can! And while Brooks non-existent heart swells with noble thoughts of brotherhood and selflessness the long-arms lament their misfortune: they weren’t able to get a single one-elbowed person back to their home country to sell them to a freakshow… which is exactly what the villagers intend to do with them. Brook, being understandably put out by the thought of them doing what was going to be done to them instead suggests letting the pirates go free, much to the surprise of the villagers. But it’s alright for you see, Brook has a plan!

Who’s the mad demon pimp that makes all the people go weak at the knees? Brook? Ya daaamn right. And so, all thing settled the long-arms run away with their arms behind their legs, and Brook moves on to-

Wait what but the demon deal!-

-Ah, ehm, unexpectedly clever fiends… but wait, the villagers! Now is the time for them to take up arms and use what they have learned to-

…. Fucking bumpkins.

So uh, Franky, about that, actual competence thing… just a joke, you know? Lighthearted jesting, nothing more. Really. Really…. oh God judging from how all the ladies were still wearing those robes he… he probably didn’t even get to see their panties. And here I thought Ace’s death was a depressing end. Although maybe he’ll eventually end up meeting Apoo through some twist of fate, so there may yet be a sunny side up to this…

Still. The crew is currently doing their very darn best to get back to Shabondy, some having more success than others, and seeing a reunion just in time for chapter 600 as some might be speculating? Well, I for one say it’s looking likelier and likelier.